Mila’s Birth Story

Before I was pregnant I never really understood people sharing their birth stories or taking photos in the birthing room. It seemed like too much information and to be quite frank, a bit gross. Then I got pregnant and I devoured these stories. I stayed up late at night gazing into the cold glow of my phone watching birth video after birth video (and forced my husband to watch with me, too). 

Fast forward a couple months, I’m sitting here with Mila asleep on my chest and I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I’m about to piece together my OWN birth story. Because despite having given birth so recently, it’s already a blur. Having enjoyed, devoured, and experienced so many other’s stories, I feel it’s only fair that I share mine too.

Just like how our journey getting pregnant wasn’t linear, my labor & delivery story didn’t start as “planned” either. Our due date was January 5th, but the topic of conversation was always whether or not she would be born in December or January. I was so sure she’d be an early bird like her mama and share the same birth month as me… but nope! Our due date came and went and I had tried every “home induction” trick possible– walking, spicy foods, sex, raspberry leaf tea, even using the breast pump. At my 40+1 week prenatal appointment, my cervix was still high and closed, but my doctor made the executive decision to start the induction process that day (in fear of the baby being bigger than expected).

Beginning the Induction Process

Throughout my pregnancy, I had always feared being “induced”, but to my surprise (and delight), the process was long, but not as bad as I had expected. I went into the hospital expecting to be admitted immediately, but the doctor applied Cervidil gel (to open up the cervix) and sent me back home. Twenty four hours passed and nothing. No cramps or contractions. Nothing. We went back to the hospital the next day for the second dose of Cervidil gel and were sent back home again. While I was a bit frustrated at all the ins-and-outs at the hospital, I am glad the induction process started as gently as possible before moving straight into Pitocin or more invasive forms of induction.

Within an hour of getting home, I started cramping. I am lucky enough to not experience period cramping on the regular, so this was a bit of a new sensation for me. The cramping progressed throughout the evening and started getting more and more painful and closer and closer together. I still wasn’t sure if these were contractions, but tried to get some sleep in case this was the “real deal”. At 3am, I woke up to painful contractions that I couldn’t sleep through anymore and suddenly felt a little *pop* down low. (It felt like a little popcorn kernel popping inside me). Was that my water breaking? I still wasn’t sure. I got up to go to the bathroom and after a couple minutes of pacing around, I felt a gush of liquid trickle out of me and onto the floor. Yup, my water definitely broke. 

I woke up my husband and we immediately went to the hospital (after my water continued leaking all over the house and in the car!) When I got to the hospital, I was told I was still only 1cm dilated (WHAT THE HECK– all that contraction pain for only 1cm?!) but my contractions were steady every 3-5 minutes and I was officially admitted and transferred to our birthing suite. 

Getting the Epidural

Four hours later at 7:30am, I was in what felt like intolerable pain from contractions (granted, I have a really low pain tolerance) and progressed to 3-4cm dilated. It was time for the epidural!

Although the epidural procedure usually takes 15 minutes to administer, my experience was less than ideal. My husband was asked to step out of the room and waited outside for a whole HOUR as I was moaning and screaming inside from the needle being poked in and out of my back dozens of times (missing, every single time). For whatever reason, it took an hour to get the epidural administered correctly and I remember this being one of the most painful parts of my entire labour story. That said, once in, the epidural provided immediate relief and I was finally able to relax and breathe again.

For the next ten hours, I continued slowly contracting and dilating, about a cm per hour. I tried to get as much rest as I could during this time and in hindsight, I’m really glad I did. As epidurals can slow down the natural contraction process, we needed Pitocin (oxytocin) in gradual incremental dosages to continue pushing the labor along. Luckily with the epidural, I only felt pressure, not pain.

Time to Push

Finally at 8pm, I was 10cm dilated and ready to start pushing. The bright ceiling lights turned on and it was officially GO time. After the first round of pushing, I projectile vomited… everywhere. On the nurse, on my husband, on the floor, on the bed, on myself… yes, everywhere. But once that was out of my system, my body (and mind) was finally able to focus on pushing this baby out with all my might.

After 45 minutes and an episiotomy (there was no choice but to do a little snip to risk tearing), I felt the most miraculous thing my body has ever felt. I will never forget the feeling of pushing out the head and the wiggle of the rest of the body and the fast follow of a slimy baby being put on my body for skin-to-skin. Holy shit. I birthed a baby. I birthed MY baby. After years of yearning and 9 months of connecting with tiny kicks and flutters, Mila was here. And she was ours. All 8 lbs 7 oz of her. I could not help but cry uncontrollably (and continued to do so for the next 15 minutes as the doctor delivered my placenta and stitched me back up). 

The moments after felt like a blur. I continued cuddling and nursing my baby immediately for skin-to-skin time, but once reality kicked in, I suddenly felt my body shake uncontrollably and immediately felt extreme cold and exhaustion. Again, I projectile vomited all over the room (and alllllmooost on the baby) and was quivering and shaking for the next hour until my body calmed down. We were transferred to our private mother & baby room and that was it. We were officially parents of a baby girl and the craziest adventure of our life had just begun.

Life After Birth

Within 24 hours, we were discharged from the hospital and were sent home. The following couple days were a huge whirlwind of unexplainable emotions, pains and struggles both mentally, emotionally, and physically, but beneath it all, happiness and gratefulness. We had several daily hospital visits to check jaundice levels and were eventually re-admitted to the hospital for light therapy, but all that now feels like a blur. 

Throughout pregnancy, I did an immense amount of research on the labor & delivery process and feared the pain of giving birth, but not ONCE did I prepare for what we were about to experience postpartum. Huge mistake. While I am still recovering from the baby blues, postpartum anxiety, mom guilt, and all the feelings that accompany, I will save this for another post. For now, I am grateful that Mila and I are healthy and that everyday it is getting easier. It’s insane how much love you can have for a tiny little human so soon and I can’t wait to share these stories with her in the future.